your most important Valentine

Blog Challenge: Day 28

I know I'm late posting but I had a busy (but awesome) day/night!! Nix, Roomie and I made an great lunch (Salmon with mango-kiwi relish - yum!) and baked 3 different types of cookies - which were each pure goodness lol. Then we all went to see the chick flick on steroids Valentine's Day - it was super cute and the perfect movie for use to see. On the way home from the movie, Roomie said she didn't want the day to end...IMMD! Then, I had a really nice dinner with a friend (this is me not getting too personal on my blog since my readership has expanded lolol). The day was great. 

I also know I said I would use Sundays as a random roundup of links/articles/stories, but since today is Valentine's Day I figured I'd go ahead and post on something related to the day. One of my favorite quotes is from Sex and The City, when Carrie says: "...the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Even though a lot of what Carrie says is super corny, I really find this quote to be true. Some people are serial monogamists (in a loose sense, b/c true monogamy is increasingly less common these days), while others are serial "daters" or serially single. I'd say I fall into the latter category lol. I have friends that seem constantly to be in a relationship...straight from one relationship to another...and I just don't get it lol....but to each their own. Another thing that scares me is people who are afriad to be alone...who feel that they are not complete without a significant other in their life. Anyway, it sounds cliche, but I think it's important to know and love yourself before you love someone else, or are ready to accept someone else's love. 

With this in mind, here are some tips (from various sources - especially this great post - with my personal spin) on things to do to to work on your self-love.

• Take Time Everyday to Do What You Love - My sister Nix is a full-time student who is super super busy....but she makes it a point to read something non-school-related everyday. This is just an example. Yours doesn't have to be the same thing everyday...as long as it's something enjoyable. 
• Be Yourself: Don't try to fit yourself into everyone else's ideals. You are who you are; you like what you like. You shouldn't have to mold yourself to the people around you. Surround yourself by people who appreciate you for who you are. 
• Never Miss an Opportunity to Laugh - I don't think a day goes by without me laughing at least once. There is nothing better than laughing. One of the greatest things is being able to laugh at yourself. Try to find humor all around you....I am probably one of the most easily amused people. Don't take everything so seriously! Yesterday I'm navigating through the snow. This is so childish, but something that cracks me up is when I can find a "that's what he/she said" moment. Nix and Roomie could tell you...I find them quite often lol. 
• Exercise Your Memory - Did you know that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present? Just try! I promise you'll agree. I don't think a day goes by without me saying "do you remember when..." Even small things. Today Roomie was cracking up remembering the other day when I got out at a red light to clear off her windshield and fall flat on my butt in the middle of the street. It certainly boost her happiness, and it let me laugh at myself. 
• Be Your Own Best Friend: Beyonce knows what she's talkin' about yall! lol...for real though..."No one knows, not even your closest friend or your spouse, what it's like to be you. To wake up in your skin, to live with the mixture of feelings, thoughts, impulses, dreams, conflicts, and passions, that are utterly unique to you...in the end, it is you, your heart, your guidance, your wisdom that you must trust. Notice what knocks at the door of your heart, what enlivens you, what inspires you, what energizes you. Follow that. Trust that." I totally copied that from the article in the link. Great language! I need to get my writing on that level lol.
• Let go of your mistakes. Mistakes happen. Don't focus on them in a purely negative way. Take what you can from them, learn from them, and keep it moving. 
• Transform your mindset. Believe that you're worthy of blessings...happiness, success, love, whatever! Actively seek out positive things about yourself and your life.  
• Dive into your passion. Whatever it is that gets you really excited, focus on it. Embrace it. One of the best ways you can learn to love yourself is to zero in on the things that make you the happiest and spend as much time as you can on them. 
• Live in your moment. Love yourself by being present. Remember when I talked about what the happiest women do? Focus on your strong moments!
• Toot your own horn. No one wants to be that girl/guy who is all about themselves and their accomplishments...but it's okay to acknowledge that you did an amazing job on something or accomplished something you never thought you could. Celebrate yourself and your achievements! This is much easier and more rewarding when you have a supportive friend network who will allow you the opportunity to feel good about yourself and support you in you celebration.
• Appreciate your life. My tattoo says "I am blessed"...not suggesting you get one too cuz then you'd be a copy cat! but try to make a habit of acknowledging the good in your life.   

Finally, since today is traditionally a day to think about couple relationships, I'd encourage you (especially if you're single or unsure about your present relationship) to look back on past relationships and see what you can learn from them. Make a list of past relationships and note each one the best qualities of that relationship. These are the qualities you want in the next relationship. Make a list of the negative parts of that relationship -- these are what you don't want to repeat. Use the list as a learning tool. It's sometimes tempting to think of past relationships as a waste of time, but try to look in each for the lesson to be learned. Actually, negative parts may have been your greatest teacher ;-) I certainly think I'm better at spotting and avoiding certain characteristics/behavior based on previous guys.

How did yall spend Valentine's Day? Is it just another day to you? What are your thoughts about your "relationship with yourself" as it pertains to your relationships with others? What are some ways that you actively work at your self-love?

You know today's *big chune* has to be lovey-dovey right? lol. It was a toughie because there are soooooo many great love songs out there and I am terrible at making choices like this. In the end, I decided to go with Turn Your Lights Down Low because it's beautiful without being over the top...I'm posting 2 versions (including the original Bob Marley version) cuz I feel like most people have only heard the version with Lauren...and I love The Wailers backup singing in the original lol. But I do love Lauren Hill and her rap verse adds a lil something extra. Btw, I swear if my Dad had dreads, he could double as Bob Marley lolol. 

:-D