"don't call us, we'll call you"...or not

I forgot to mention in my post yesterday how happy I am that the weather is starting to warm up! For the first time in a while I was able to leave home without a big jacket....all I needed was a long sleeved tee and a hoodie...The sun was shining...I even heard birds chirping! IMMD :-)

Last week I subscribed to the Psychology Times blog. I'm liking it so far, but there are way too many posts per day...so after traveling this weekend I had to hit the dreaded "Mark all as read" button. (It stresses me out when I have hundreds of unread bolded items in my Reader lol.) One article did pop out at me though. Sophia Dembling, who writes regularly for PT and has her own section, The Introvert's Corner, wrote about how much she hates the phone. I feel her on this lol. (btw, I'm a big fan of her blog; I plan to do some follow-up posts on introversion, and the introverted life.)

In middle/high school when everyone was chatting it up with boys all night, I wasn't. Just wasn't my thing. It still isn't. I find it very forced/annoying. I was in a LDR and to be perfectly honest, the nightly phone calls weren't exactly the highlight of my day...it had nothing to do with the person per se...it just felt like a task/chore/obligation :-/ Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy conversations with the same people in person, I just don't like the phone. At least email/im/texting allows you the ability to multitask, and removes the pressure to have nonstop communication during the course of the conversation. Plus, I don't really care exactly what you're doing/eating/watching, what you just did/ate, what you are going to do/eat/watch...you get the point. I hope this doesn't come across sounding harsh, but it is what it is.

And just so you know it really is a phone thing, Nix and I don't even do well over the phone. When she has gone home for the past two summers and I have stayed in DC, we talk maybe once a week...If that! And for like 10 minutes at a time. If we can't even maintain a phone-based relationship, that's not a good sign for anyone else lol. There are a few slight exceptions to this rule. I have almost weekly calls w/ one of my besties from Gtown. We also sometimes randomly check in via email/text. Other than that, I have my Sunday afternoon calls w/ Pops, the random checkins from Mommy, and the once-in-a-while times I stalk my other sis who still lives back in STT. I rarely talk to my brothers on the phone. Actually, a few weeks back the youngest of my 3 older brothers called me to shoot the breeze and I had to ask to make sure he hadn't called just to ask (for) something. hehe.

Anywho, back to the article. The author shares some of her reasons (text is copied, not my words) for hating the phone:

• The phone is intrusive. It rings and we are expected to tear our minds away from whatever they were focusing on and refocus on whoever is on the other end of the line and whatever he or she has to say. This makes my brain hurt. My mind doesn't change direction easily.

• Most phone calls are chit-chatty rather than deep. And we all agree: introverts don't like chit-chat. I have one friend who starts every call by asking, "Whatcha you doin'?" I have no idea how to answer, except with "Nuthin'" or "Workin'" or "Cleaning the schumtz out of my computer keyboard." And I can't imagine that any of these answers could interest her, so the call immediately feels awkward. I do have friends with whom phone conversations get deep and I enjoy those, but they require a block of time. When that kind of call ambushes me, it derails my whole day. I try to schedule them--and even so, a certain amount of bullet biting is necessary for me to keep the appointment.

• Introverts tend to be slow thinkers and responders and long pauses don't go over well on the phone. If I am on the phone with a talkative person, I struggle to get my say. I end up doing a lot of listening and uh-huhing. After a while, I get bored.

• It can be difficult to focus a busy, busy introvert mind on the abstraction that is telephone conversation. Listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory input piled on top of everything that's already going on in our heads. This is exhausting and my mind often drifts back into itself; I have to force it back to the conversation.

I basically agree with her reasons. I am somewhat ashamed (but not really) to admit that I am one of those people who sometimes "silences" a phone call rather than picking up, even when I'm not technically busy (it's better than pressing the "ignore" button though, right?!). I've done this to everyone under the sun, so really not a reason to be offended.

Some people are 'phone people.' I really think Roomie is a phone person even though she denies it lol. I am not a phone person...and making this clear to people helps me help them understand how i operate. What about you guys? Are any of you phone people? Are there certain people you can/can't 'do the phone' with? What are your preferred modes of communication?

For today's *big chune* I wanted to go with something related to the post. The first song that popped into my head was Alicia Keys' How Come You Don't Call Me?....but I think New Edition's Mr. Telephone Man is way more fun...I was at Jin (lounge in DC) one time and they played this...IMMD!


:-D