i heart sade

Blog Challenge: Day 14

I realized today that I really don't ever feel like writing on the weekend. You'd think the weekend would be the best time for me to write my best entries because I have so much time, but I find myself way too distracted and wanting to do other things. Plus, work is so slow that I have time to write during the weekdays.

Today's post is a tribute to Sade...because she is the ish....she's timeless...I have met very few people who don't like-or at least respect-her. She's so hot that she hasn't released an album in 10 years and people of all ages still know who she is. And she's mixed. YAY. lol. Born Helen Folasade Adu in Ibadan, Nigeria, about 50 miles from Lagos, she is the daughter of an African father and an English mother. After her mother returned to England, Sade grew up on the North End of London. (Source)

Here's a remix of her new single-because I also love Raheem Devaughn and the original is getting played out hehe.


And here is the second single set to be released:


A lot of Sade's music is relegated to elevator/lobby music, but she has soooo many great songs. In honor of the release of her new album in February, I'm going to post some of my favorite Sade songs. (In no particular order...I'm way to indecisive for that.)

Sweetest Gift. I LOVE THIS SONG. I plan to sing it as a lullaby someday :-D It's so perfect!


Is It a Crime? This may well be one of the most depressing songs ever sung, but it is a BIG CHUNE! (I'd actually never seen the video before doing this post!) This song makes me want to cry...she sings it like her heart is being ripped out of her chest. Also, the sax in this is nuts!!


Lover's Rock. This song kinda melts my heart.


It's All About Our Love. This song is just so simple and beautiful.


Cherish the Day. Classic Sade.


Pearls. Another song that makes me want to cry. The lyrics are so powerful and moving.


Are you a Sade fan? What are your favorites?

:-D

don't sleep on: goodreads.com

Blog Challenge: Day 13

First things first...GO HOYAS!!! GU 89 Duke 77

Today's "Don't Sleep" post is to put yall on to the site goodreads.com

I've recently caught a serious reading bug. Over a two-week span I bought like 10 books. lol. Anyway, someone suggested the site goodreads.com and I LOVE IT!. It's a great way to keep track of books you've read and books you want to read. It also allows you to see what your friends' reading lists are. Plus, users can rate books, start discussions and even join reading groups. I recommended one of my brothers join and within days he had over 300 books added to his book list....literally!!!

It's a pretty cool site....check it out and add me as a friend!

That's all for today. Hope those of you in the urrea enjoyed the snow today.

:-D

be anna...and let them be them

Blog Challenge: Day 12

Last night I went to an event that had my internal dialogue running in overdrive. So much so that as soon as I got into my building out of the blistering, frigid, unbearable, makes-me-wish-i-never-left-my-island cold, I stopped (in the hallway) to type out some thoughts on my palm pre. lol! The event was a presentation/discussion on emotional intelligence (EQ), presented by Christie Lewis of Mission Matters Consulting and Coaching Group. The event was offered through a DC organization geared toward young nonprofit professionals, but i was attracted to it because of my interest in Psychology.
 

In a nutshell, EQ is a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. We went through a few little exercises that got us to think about and assess our EQ strengths and weaknesses. Obviously this stuff is important to me, as I hope one day to be a counselor/therapist. But, it's also applicable to anyone. A lot of the discussion was actually from a workplace perspective. She mentioned that EQ is what sets great leaders (like CEOs) apart from those who don't make it to the top. It makes sense if you think about it. After all, it's not what you know, but who you know...or perhaps how you know who you know. marinate on that! lol.

In terms of my own EQ, something I've struggled with recently - but especially since reading The Happiness Project (now #1 on NYT Bestseller list!!) - is that I place so much emphasis on happiness and positivity in my own life and I can't understand why other people don’t. It's like I have an emotional "can.not.process" (say that in a robot/computer voice for the full effect) response. I struggle because though I am immensely positive I shut down in the face of negativity. It's like my positive forcefield is no match for gloom/anger/sullenness. I feed off of the situation and people around me. But rather than get negative (like them) I just detach from the situation. I stop caring. I essentially go into emotional hibernation.

This got me thinking a lot about Gretchen’s first personal commandment: "Be Gretchen" Here is the gist of the concept (in her words): "Just as I must 'Be Gretchen' and accept myself, strengths and weaknesses both, I must also accept everyone around me...The fact is, we can change no one but ourselves."

With that in mind, I've had to make an important tweak. My first personal commandment is to Be Anna...and let them be them. In other words, i have to do what makes me happy and live a life that is true to my values/principles/likes/dislikes. But i also have to accept the people around me for who they are. After all, who am i to say what the right or best way of living is? Having someone like Nix as a sis is like living in an alternate universe. An awesome universe, but one quite different from most lol. It's sort of like living with another "me". We think so similarly about so many things that I forget we are not your average bear and that she is not necessarily like everyone I interact with. Take a colleague, for example. They are one of the most negative debby-downer people I know. But, I've come to accept and expect that from them. I don't take it personally. That is what gets them through their day. 

As I think more and more about the possibility that I may be going to grad school for Psychology i'm petrified by the judgments and expectations that I place on myself--largely as a result of what I think other people's judgments and expectations are/will be. Does that make sense? I imagine that people think, "she should be able to make me feel better because that is what she wants to do as a career. Why doesn't she get it?" This is an unfair (and possible unfounded) expectation I am placing on myself. Aside from the fact that I have zero knowledge or expertise, not everyone wants advice. I need to repeat that to myself: not everyone wants my advice! I'm not a know-it-all, but it's my nature to try to help people...and making "suggestions" is one of the ways I do this. "Maybe you could..." I have these urges to give my thoughts. I don't really see it as advice more like tips or suggestions but it dawned on me that it may come across as advice which can be, quite frankly, annoying when it is done in a certain way.

People who want advice will ask for it. Until then, I need to slow my role.

But....[now I'm going to totally confuse myself (and yall) by posing this question]...if I truly believe in the principles of happiness and positivity and the beneficial effects on my life, can you blame me for wanting to share? How do you know when you should be trying to spread a good message, or when you need to leave it up to others to find it for themselves?

Thoughts on all this?

P.S. I got invited to interview at another one of the schools I applied to! Now I've been invited to 2/6...still waiting to hear back from the other 4. 

TGIF!  :-D

what makes a man "put a ring on it"?

Blog Challenge Day 11:

[Writer's note: I really hate capitalizing...especially the letter/word "i"...it's my blog and i do what i want :-) ... so i'm not going to worry about capitalizing them anymore. and i may even get more lax about first-word-of-sentence capitalization as well. just fyi. don't judge me.]

Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others

My friend T sent me the link to this article and it's a pretty interesting read. John T. Molloy's Book Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others is based on over 3,000 interviews conducted by him and his researchers. They interviewed couples coming out of marriage license bureaus, and then a control group. Some of the resulting findings on the statistical tendencies of marriage are common sense, but other points are more thought-provoking, especially since they're backed up by data. As a budding research geek, I appreciate that.

I'm going to share some of the points from the book, with my own commentary (in bold). Let's see what my chances of marriage are! lol. By the way, I'm really not pressed/concerned about marriage right now. If it happens it does, if it doesn't that's fine too...or at least that's how I feel at the moment. Ask me when I'm approaching 30, you may get a different answer. lol.

The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married

1. Insist on it. [meh :-/ this sounds easier said than done]
   
2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on. [i think i'm pretty good at this. probably too good lol]
   
3. Love yourself first. [i do! and i totally agree with how important this is]
   
4. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married [hmm. i don't know that i feel this way right now. but maybe that's a defense mechanism?]
   
5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance [yep, i do this]
   
6. Time is running out—use time wisely in your search for the marrying man [uhmmmmm, chicken little much?]
   

To maximize your chances of marrying, only date the marrying kind: [again, i may do this too well. lol]

• Most men will not consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment 
• For 80% of high school graduates, 23
• For 80% of college graduates, 26 [unfortunately, i feel like this number keeps getting higher and higher. try 30!]
  
• For college men, the high-commitment period is 28-33
  
• For men who go to graduate school, 30-36 [sheesh!]
  
•  Other key facts
• Men often marry women whose religion, politics, values, and socioeconomic status match theirs
• Men whose friends and siblings are married are more likely to marry [this is an interesting point.] 
• Avoid "stringers" except for Stringer Bell; he could get it, men who string along women but never commit. To filter them out, insist that he commit after six months. Then stick to it, no matter what excuses he gives. [i may struggle with this. lol]
  
• Consider unpolished jewels, men who are just as nice, intelligent, hard-working, and successful, but lack looks, height, or social skills. [this is a toughie, because physical attraction is important to me] 
• 88% of men over 50 who were marrying for the first time were marrying divorced women. The women told the researchers that they had already tried the tall, suave, type, and he didn’t make a very good husband. [hopefully i won't have to go through divorce to learn my lesson]
  
  
  
  
  

First impressions are important:

• Men are attracted by the physical, but marry character 
• Newly engaged men said that what attracted them to their fiancées was how classy, positive, energetic, enthusiastic, and upbeat their future wives were. [it's awkward for me to compliment myself, but i do think i have most of these characteristics]
•  While 68% gave a physical description of their fiancée, only 20% said that what attracted them was how gorgeous and sexy their fiancée was. Over 60% described their personalities, even if the women in question were very beautiful.
• Therefore, be positive! [no problem there!]
  
  
  • 
    
    
• All wives are trophy wives—men marry women whom they admire and like to show off (but not for their physical appearance) [makes sense, nothing wrong with that]
  
• Dressing appropriately sends the message, “I am wife material.” Men marry women they perceive as “situational virgins” who move easily in their world. 
• Editor’s note: In other words, don’t dress like a ho [LOL!]. Men see a sexy outfit as an invitation to have sex. 
• Most men decide within 10 minutes of meeting a woman if she’s appropriate for marriage, or just for a casual affair.
• Over 80% of men said or bragged that their fiancée was the kind of woman they were proud to introduce to friends and family
• Over 70% of men said that they knew that their future bride was a “nice girl” the minute they met
• Only 7 out of 2,000 men interviewed said that their fiancée was dressed in a very sexy outfit when they met.
• If you want to marry a man who is more attractive than you, go for a very good-looking man because he will actually place less emphasis on looks. [interesting. i would never be comfortable with a fine, fine man to be honest. lol. so i can have women trying to get him all the time?! no thanks.] Women see their own looks as a gift of nature equal to or superior to brains and talent. In contrast, 67% of very good-looking men think of their looks as a minor asset, and say they would rather be smart, rich, or talented. Do the following: 
• Approach him [yah, that's probably not gonna happen]. Very attractive men don’t make passes at women because they don’t have to. [rude. lol] 
• Let him put you on a pedestal. Don’t treat him any differently than you would another man, just because he’s good-looking. 
• Let him see your talents and accomplishments. Very good-looking men often marry women who have qualities they lack—education, professional accomplishment, social standing, and ambition. [but if they lack all that, why would i want them?] 
• Make demands on him. Advise him to go back to school or get a better job.
  
  
• Making a good impression on his family is almost as important as making a good impression on him.
• 5% said that it was their family that had convinced them that the woman was something special
• 30% said that their family’s positive opinion had influenced them
  
  
  
  
  

What kind of women get married?

• Women with a large number of female friends are more likely to marry than women with a large number of male friends 
• Men don’t go out of their way to introduce their female friends to other men
• If you reach 30 and want to get married, you have to make finding a husband a primary goal. Once your friends start getting married, they are less likely to have an active social life with you. Don’t be the last one off the bus!
• Women who get married, even those with high-powered careers, make getting married a priority that they work at.
• The larger the number of single men and women you work with, the better your chances of marrying
• If you work in an industry with few eligible men (e.g. the fashion industry, where most male colleagues are gay), or have other disadvantages, you’ll have to work harder outside of work to overcome them. It’s unfair, but suck it up.
• Women with unrealistic expectations often remain single 
• Much of the time, these expectations are imposed by others, who think that the men she brings home aren’t “good enough for her.” 
• Give men a second chance—20% of brides to be said that they didn’t like their husband when they first met him. [i'm guessing this doesn't apply to exes] 
• Self-confident men are attracted to accomplished, self-assured, and talented women
  
  
• Women who waste their time with stringers or men who don’t care for them hurt their chances of marrying 
• Women who marry refer to the men who broke up with them as losers. Women who don’t marry often make men who don’t reciprocate their feelings the center of their universe and still speak well of them.
  
  
•  Don’t date married or gay men.
• Women who live with their parents are less likely to marry
• Being slender attracts more men, therefore increasing your chances to marry
• Women who put effort into looking their best are more likely to marry than those who don’t
• However, men find women who are active and don’t spend all of their time primping more attractive
• Women who make an effort to seek out the company of single men are more likely to marry 
• Women who marry date more frequently than those who don’t, even it’s Mr. Wrong. [i need to line up some dates!]
  
  
  • Women who marry are three times as likely to participate in masculine activities in which they had no real interest.
  • Women who marry are twice as likely to have made lifestyle sacrifices (changing jobs or moving) to meet eligible men.
  Women who have active social lives are more likely to marry
  
  
  • Go out on Friday and Saturday, when other single people go out [i've been going out more recently. i just need to be selective about what i do and who i got with, so i ensure a good time]
    

Other than the thoughts I shared throughout the text, I don't have much to add. It seems like a tricky balance between making marriage a priority and getting so caught up in it that you "hate the idea of being alone" (e.g., the SATC gals, except for Samantha) or jump from relationship to relationship. I've never been one of the latter people. In fact I am very comfortable being single. I tell people (honestly) that right now i'm so happy  in every other aspect of my life, lack of a man doesn't concern me. In the past, I've thought "I'll never get married (*tear*)," but now I rarely think about it at all. The findings seem to suggest that I shouldn't be quite so lax about it. Oh well! Que sera sera!

Thoughts? Are the data a bunch of mumbo jumbo? Should women my age (23) be concerned about marriage? Are you concerned? Any of the points above surprise you? Any you especially agree/disagree with?

Remember, this is only a bit of the full findings, so if you want to see the whole write-up, click here

:-)

go ahead, make my day!

Blog Challenge Day 10

Earlier this week, I came across a cute little website listed at the bottom of one of The Happiness Project blog posts >> http://itmademyday.com/

This site allows people to submit little moments/stories of things that....made their day! Here are some examples that are my favs so far:

Today, in music class, the teacher put the wrong CD in to the CD player. The result was, instead of Tchaikovsky, Lady Gaga. IMMD
Submitted by: hy

Today I ran into a sliding glass door while working, leaving big forehead print on the glass…When I came back later, I saw someone had drawn a smiley face on the glass where the print was. IMMD
Submitted by: Paul

I was working at a daycare and today the kids I take care of were building a model city. One kid made a petting zoo and placed a Lion in the center. IMMD.
Submitted by: Gregg

The idea of this site is so awesome! It helps that the acronym is so catchy...now I find myself using it. For example, Nix and roomieand I have a little weekend morning tradition of making pancakes for breakfast. The past two weekends we haven't been able to do it because Nix is working like a Jamaican weekend mornings. This morning I gchatted her to tell her that I miss our pancake breakfasts. She reminded me that she doesn't have to work until 11 this Saturday, so we can do pancakes...IMMD! Then she suggested that we send each other our "day-making" moments every day...IMMD all over again.  Nix is good for doing that :-)


A lot of us tend to be on auto-pilot, especially when we're busy/stressed. This seems like a great way to be more mindful. Small moments that seem insignificant can be a source of joy and happiness if you let them. I have two challenges for you:

1) Spend today taking notice of the small things.
2) Tell a friend about the idea of IMMD and encourage each other to share those moments.

So...what made your day today?! You can say that this post did...don't be shy ;-)

i need a scholar

Blog Challenge: Day 9

I was a sophomore or junior (I have a terrible memory) when the Destiny's Child song "I Need a Soldier" came out. One of my super creative friends (shouts out to Zavi!) came up with a little remix called "I Need a Scholar." I don't remember any of the lyrics, so Zavi (or whoever remembers) please feel free to leave some in the comments.

Anywho, Nix actually reminded me of this song the other day (I forget how it came up...are you seeing a pattern here? lol), and I thought of it today because of a post left on my facebook wall recently. This wall post then got me thinking of previous sloppy emails I've received from guys. Now, I'm no Ph.D. yet, and I admit to using dubious grammar/spelling sometimes (I'm sure you're all checking this post for grammar/spelling), but I do try to write well for the most part. There is a proper place and time for loosened writing (e.g., correspondance with friends and family, casual blogging, im, texting). Communicating with someone (especially someone in whom you may be interested) for the first time is NOT the place/time to be lax about writing. I don't want to blow up anyone's spot so I can't really give specific examples, but let's just say that a particular sloppy arse email prevented a guy from getting anywhere with me. I'm not joking. I don't even remember if I emailed said gentleman back, but if I did it was definitely short and sweet.

Everyone has their pet peeves/deal-breakers. Poor grammar/spelling/writing/diction is one of mine.

What about you? Do you consider these things important? Would bad writing/speech be an issue for you? Or, are you guilty of this yourself?

:-)

P.S. I got an email from a student rep. at the UT Psych program (where I'll be interviewing next month!) and her signature line had the following quote: "Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."

HOW AWESOME IS THAT! I can't wait to meet her :-D

don't sleep on: hummus

Blog Challenge Day 8

I was thinking about today's post (and about some future ones I want to do) and I got the idea for a "series" of sorts called "don't sleep on." This series is going to highlight things that I've come across, realized, discovered etc. For example, I went back and reformatted my Google Reader post to reflect this new series because it fits perfectly with the theme. In the future I'll be telling you not to sleep on: music artists, songs, books, websites, events, etc.

This post was inspired by how awesome my lunch is today. Actually my lunch is awesome everyday because I pretty much eat the same thing: a homemade SALAD with spinach, lettuce, cucumber, celery, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms and sometimes bell peppers, black beans and corn. But what really is clutch about my salads is HUMMUS. I cannot sing the praises of hummus enough. The funny thing is that hummus never touched my tongue until like a year ago. For real. This is particularly surprising because your average Joe/Jane Hoya (i.e., Georgetown student) freaking loves hummus. But every time I was offered hummus I declined...it just looked/smelled/seemed weird to me. (Aside: for some reason I used to have an aversion to certain foods which I had never tried. Recently I've been trying lots of new foods and I pretty much love everything. Perfect example: brussels sprouts...they're super yummy! They just have a bad rap because when you overcook them, they smell bad.)

Anyway, hummus is simply amazing on a salad. Plus chickpeas contain healthy nutrients including protein, manganese, folate, tryptophan, copper, phosphorus and iron, and are an excellent source of fiber. Some of you may be wondering how that works (as far as flavor combos) with certain salad dressings, but I just squeeze fresh lemon over my salads. You could also do olive oil/vinegar.

Of course, you can enjoy hummus with veggies, pita bread/chips or whatever your heart desires. It's quite a versatile spread. It also comes in several flavors so you can change things up and not get bored with it. My favorits are traditional garlic and roasted red pepper. The ones from Trader Joe's (the BEST grocery store) are BOMB. You can also make your own...I just haven't gotten around to that yet.

Do you like hummus? Ever put it on salad? Or anything else out of the ordinary? Do you have a go-to lunch or meal? I find that I generally eat the same things pretty consistently. I'll post about another one of my go-to meals (breakfast) in a future "Don't Sleep" post.

:-) Happy Monday!

P.S. GO HOYAS! We're playing Syracuse tonight. Big game!

lazy sunday

Blog Challenge Day 7

I'm having one of those days where I know I should be productive but I just don't want to get up from the couch. I hardly ever go out, but I went out last night, got in at like 4 and woke up around 9. Anywho, I don't really feel like writing a lot so I'll just share some random thoughts:

- I want another tattoo. I just got my first one on New Year's Day of this year. My sisters and I went together. Mine says "I am blessed" in sanskrit. I do think I'll get another one, but I need to wait for the inspiration to hit me as far as what the next one will be.
- I had two convos yesterday about how turning 24 seems particularly significant. When I was in college high school I thought I would be married by 25 and having my first baby at 27....LOLOL. So not happening according to that little game plan....which is perfectly fine and great actually.
- I hope Sade's comeback album lives up to expectations. She says she only makes music when she has something to say and feels confident in her work so I'm pretty sure I won't be disappointed.
- Seeing people you used to date/talk to is funny. I said I wouldn't get too personal so I'll just leave it at that.
- I love the Cheesecake Factory. That place is so on (vi speak for amazing). 
- I reeeeally don't like the Ke$ha video for her terrible but catchy song "tik tok." This must be me being and oldhead but it bothers me that she is (I'm assuming) still in high school (since she's living at home) and seems high/drunk the whole time. She is driving around with some oldddd gross-looking dude and gets arrested. Just a hot mess all over.
- Hollis Thompson (forward for the hoyas) looks A LOT like the actor (Desperate Housewives, The Game) Mehcad Brooks.
- Who the heck has been dressing chris brown recently?!
- I hope Rihanna is reconsidering her relationship with Matt Kemp after the restraining order his ex got on him. Is that judgmental? Can people change?
- I miss my long hair :-/ I really want it to hurry up and grow....and I'm gonna try going natural again, which will be much easier with longer hair.

That's all for today. Any thoughts on my thoughts, or thoughts of your own?

could a personality test help you choose a career?

Blog Challenge Day 6

I almost forgot to post today! Just got home from watching to Gtown bball game. Good times. And the best part of the game was the dude sitting in the student section dressed as Moses (full length robe and wig/beard) with a sign that read "Thou shall not pass." LOL...gotta love the school sprit incorporating our Jesuit identity.

For the past two days I've been talking about personality types. Today I promised to talk about my results and how they helped me think about my future. One of the cool ways that the results can be used is to help people flesh out career interests (a la "What Color is Your Parachute"). As it turns out, the career section of my personality results was something of a "game changer" in my life. Some context is needed before I go further: Around this time I was getting sort of antsy at work. I had been on the job for about a year and I just wasn't feeling "fulfilled." I was (and still am) working at a public policy think tank doing research and writing. I work on interesting topics and do important work but I didn't feel like I was making any sort of impact on anything/anyone.

Here is what is says about careers for INFPs: When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding...The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It's worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.

Reading those words I felt as though they had been written just for me. I agreed with everything it said and that's what I wanted out of a job/career. I just didn't know what that would look like practically. Listed below this info were possible career paths:
 - Writers
 - Counselors / Social Workers
 - Teachers / Professors
 - Psychologists
 - Psychiatrists
 - Musicians
 - Clergy / Religious Worker

For some reason, psychologist jumped out at me. I had taken AP Psychology in high school and liked it but didn't take any Psych classes at Gtown and had never ever thought about psychology as a career. The friend (also a coworker) who sent me the quiz and I joked about how perhaps that was my true calling. But after the joking I had a lingering feeling of "what if..." I tracked down (gotta love Google) my AP Psych teacher from high school who works in Egypt now, and she was the first person to encourage me to seriously consider a future in Psychology.

Long story short...I did a lot of research, talked to students and people in the field, took the GRE, enrolled in community college Psych classes, and applied to PhD programs for Counseling Psychology. Now I'm just waiting to hear back from schools. I got a little piece of promising news yesterday. One of the (6) schools has invited me to their visit/interview day! They've narrowed the applicant field down to 35 of us, of which they will select 8 for their incoming class. I AM SO NERVOUS! But, I know what's meant to be will be, and all I can do is prepare as best I can. I'll keep you guys posted when I have news.

So, this story may sound crazy but life is like that. It took a chain email personality quiz to help guide me to the career path that I think is really meant for me. Now I just have to hope for the best!

Anyone think I'm nuts for this? Do any of you have similar stories of stumbling into your current jobs? Or, do any of you feel drawn to another field, but are sort of stuck doing something else? Other thoughts?

:-)

getting my psych on: personality types PART 2

Blog Challenge Day 5

According to the quiz, I am an INFP (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)

My type is nicknamed: The Dreamer, Idealist-Healer or Idealist ... hello, look at my blog name, are you surprised?

Here is a good summary of my type: INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal. (http://www.mypersonality.info)

WOW. ON POINT.

Here is more detailed info (via personalitypage.com) with some commentary from me in italics and parenthesis:

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. (YES!) What is their purpose? (Good question!) How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists (not so much), who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves (I guess. I am really driven about certain things. Once I set my mind to something I make it happen, but the things I devote myself strongly to are few)

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life (YEP). They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things (YEP). Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life (Absolutely). The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease (I'd like to think so and have had people tell me this). Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well. (The last part is essential. I can take a while to warm up to people)

INFPs do not like conflict (No. Can't stand it), and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong (True, and also true even when I'm just a bystander to an argument). They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back (VERY TRUE), until one of their values is violated (Also true). In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals (lol. nope), they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists (I wouldn't really use this word to characterize myself). Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group (Yep. I tend to take on the work so it gets done the way I want it). In group situations, they may have a "control" problem (I wouldn't say all that lol). The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives (Oy! This is scary :-/ ).

INFPs are usually talented writers (some people have told me this). They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper (WOW This is SO true). INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for.

Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs." Here are some examples of famous INFPs:
  - Mary, mother of Jesus
  - William Shakespeare
  - Helen Keller
  - Jacqueline Kennedy Onasis
  - Julia Roberts,
  - John F. Kennedy, Jr.
  - Princess Diana

By the way, random aside...I'm actually like a 16th cousin to Princess Diana. The "white side" of my family is...super white...like second ship after the Mayflower white...like Eli Whitney cotton gin inventor white (also related to him...and I've always felt awkward about this, because of the connection b/w this invention and slavery)...yah.Ok end aside.

Moving right along...I was going to also write about why this personality quiz was so interesting/important to me but I feel like this post is already way too long so I'm going to save it for tomorrow. In the meantime, those of you who took the test and didn't post your type on the previous entry, post it here. Also feel free to look on the sites and leave a little blurb about your type too. Does your type seem accurate to you? For those of you who know me, does mine seem accurate?

getting my psych on: personality types

Blog Challenge Day 4

Today's post is all about personality types. Last summer, a friend of mine sent me a link to a personality test. I did it as a diversion during the work day, but the results had a profound impact on me. I'll talk about that tomorrow! For today, here is some background on personality types (Source: http://www.personalitypage.com).

Psychologist Carl Jung first developed the theory that individuals each had a psychological type. He believed that there were two basic kinds of "functions" which humans used in their lives: how we take in information (how we "perceive" things), and how we make decisions. He believed that within these two categories, there were two opposite ways of functioning. We can perceive information via our senses or our intuition. We can make decisions based on objective logic or subjective feelings. Jung believed that we all use these four functions in our lives, but that each individual uses the different functions with a varying amount of success and frequency. Jung defined eight personality types: Extraverted Sensing; Introverted Sensing; Extraverted Intuition; Introverted Intuition; Extraverted Thinking; Introverted Thinking; Extraverted Feeling; and Introverted Feeling.

Katharine Briggs developed Jung's theories further. Then Briggs' daughter Isabel built on both her mother's work and Jung's work to assert the importance of the auxiliary function working with the dominant function in defining Personality Type. She also concluded that there was another distinctive preference which hadn't been defined by Jung: Judging versus Perceiving.

The developed theory today is that every individual has a primary mode of operation within four categories:
   - our flow of energy: defines how we receive the essential part of our stimulation. Do we receive it from within ourselves (Introverted) or from external sources (Extraverted)? Is our dominant function focused externally or internally?
   - how we take in information: deals with our preferred method of taking in and absorbing information. Do we trust our five senses (Sensing) to take in information, or do we rely on our instincts (Intuitive)?
   - how we prefer to make decisions: refers to whether we are prone to decide things based on logic and objective consideration (Thinking), or based on our personal, subjective value systems (Feeling).
   - the basic day-to-day lifestyle that we prefer: concerned with how we deal with the external world on a day-to-day Basis. Are we organized and purposeful, and more comfortable with scheduled, structured environments (Judging), or are we flexible and diverse, and more comfortable with open, casual environments (Perceiving)?

We all naturally use (or "prefer") one mode of operation within each category more easily and more frequently than the other. The combination of our four "preferences" defines our personality type (of which there are 16 possible combos). So, according to the theory of Personality Types:
  
    - An individual is either primarily Extraverted (E) or Introverted (I)
    - An individual is either primarily Sensing (S) or Intuitive (N)
    - An individual is either primarily Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
    - An individual is either primarily Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

This does not mean, however, that all (or even most) individuals will fall strictly into one category or another. For example, just because someone is primarily Extraverted doesn't mean that they don't also perform Introverted activities. The types help to identify natural preferences and learn about our natural strengths and weaknesses within that context. Our native Personality Type indicates how we are likely to deal with different situations that life presents, and in which environments we are most comfortable.

"Learning about our Personality Type helps us to understand why certain areas in life come easily to us, and others are more of a struggle. Learning about other people's Personality Types help us to understand the most effective way to communicate with them, and how they function best."

Practical applications for Personality Types include:

    - Career Guidance: What types of tasks are we most suited to perform? Where are we naturally most happy?
    - Managing Employees: How can we best understand an employee's natural capabilities, and where they will find the most satisfaction?
    - Inter-personal Relationships: How can we improve our awareness of another individual's Personality Type, and therefore increase our understanding of their reactions to situations, and know how to best communicate with them on a level which they will understand?
    - Education: How can we develop different teaching methods to effectively educate different types of people?
    - Counseling: How we can help individuals understand themselves better, and become better able to deal with their strengths and weaknesses?

YOUR TURN! Take this personality test: 
http://www.kisa.ca/personality/


Tomorrow I'll tell you guys what my results were, and why this simple quiz may have changed my life. lol.



:-)

don't sleep on: Google Reader

Blog Challenge Day 3

I'm not exactly a "techie" but luckily my brother is, and he put me on to Google Reader a while ago. This application is simply awesome. For those of you who follow blogs - especially a large number of blogs - you absolutely NEED this (or whatever reader) in your life.

Here's how it works. Let's say you want to follow my blog ;-) but you don't want to have to keep checking back to see when I post something new, Google Reader will automatically update to show you that I've added something new. This becomes clutch when you have lots and lots of blogs and it's annoying to check each one for new stuff.

To import things into Google Reader, click on the RSS or Subsribe link somewhere on the blog or site you are interested in. Mine is all the way at the bottom of the page. It should open a new tab/window and ask you to choose your reader. Or you can click on the link in the left side of the page that says "Follow" to follow my blog and it will show up in Reader under "blogs you follow". When you want to access Reader, just look for the tab towards the top of your email homepage or igoogle or however you choose to set up.

You can create folders and tags to organize the different blogs you read. For example, I have a "Fun" folder, a "News" folder, and "Work" folder for blogs related to those areas. Another thing I like a lot is that you can "follow" friends and they can follow you, so you can see what they are reading (when they share them) and leave comments. I'm not going to go into more detail because it's pretty self-explanatory from there and you can just play around with the features.

Here's what my Google Reader looks like:

So, have you already been using Reader? Do you love it?! Have you added my blog yet?
Leave a comment if you have questions.

:-)

is this a happiness project?

30-day Challenge: Day 2

As I wrote in my previous post, this blog was inspired by (among other things) my reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, whose blog I have been following for the past few months. I strongly suggest checking out her blog (http://happiness-project.com/) and her book. Plus-talk about good timing-there is an interview with her in today's Express: http://www.expressnightout.com/content/2010/01/gretchen-rubin-the-happiness-project.php. Nix (sister) and I went to her book event last night and she decided to buy her own copy AND started reading when we got home. That's quite an endorsement!


Gretchen (hey, she emailed me personally--even with 35,000 readers!--so I feel like we're on a first-name basis) started her happiness project after an "epiphany" made her question how her life was going and how she wanted to be: "I asked myself, “What do I want from life, anyway?” and I thought, “I want to be happy”—but I never spent any time thinking about happiness. “I should do a happiness project!” I realized. And so I have."

Gretchen spent a year focusing on 12 areas (one per month) and tracking her progress in each. Here are her 12 personal commandments:

• Be Gretchen.
• Let it go.
• Act the way I want to feel.
• Do it now.
• Be polite and be fair.
• Enjoy the process.
• Spend out.
• Identify the problem.
• Lighten up.
• Do what ought to be done.
• No calculation.
• There is only love.

Most people who know me would probably doubt that I need to work to work on my happiness. I'm definitely not lacking in that department. But, I think we could all benefit from some of the ideas she shares. Plus, the happier I am, the happier I hope to make the people around me. So, while my blog isn't focused on happiness in and of itself, it is an outgrowth of me thinking about happiness and how I can add more of it to my life...which was an outgrowth of me following some of her happiness principles/concepts! lol.

One of the things I'm going to be working on is my own list of personal commandments, which I'll post as I come up with them. You can see other people's personal commandments here at Gretchen's Happiness Project Toolkit site: http://happinessprojecttoolbox.com/personal_commandments.html. This is also great resource if you want to start your own happiness project!

The way I see it, increasing your happiness is about figuring out the things that make you happy, and the things that make you unhappy, and adjusting accordingly. As I was reading the book, I stopped to think about what makes me happy. Surprisingly, it was actually sort of difficult :-/ It sounds like such a simple question, but I hadn't really thought about it before. Now that I have thought about it, here are a few things that make me truly happy:
- reading
- eating well (veggies, fruits, whole (REAL) foods, etc.)
- spending time with my sisters
- being home (in st. thomas)
- listening to music
- playing and watching (preferably live) sports
- waking up early
- going to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up early
- discovering new (to me) things: music, food, music, places, people, etc.

I do most of this stuff quite often so it's not surprising that I'm quite happy!

Soooooo readers, have you heard of this book? What do you think of the idea of a Happiness Project? Would you consider yourself happy? What does your list of "happiness-inducers" look like? Do you do/get enough of the things that make you happy? Other thoughts?

:-)

First Post!

Imagine if you found someone's journal lying around and opened it up for a read...the journal contained all their random thoughts, musings, insights, stories of their days, etc...but nothing so personal that they wouldn't want someone else to read-just in case someone happened to stumble upon it. Well, this is the electronic version of what you would get if you found my (non-existent) journal.

*********

One of my not-so-great personality characteristics is that I tend to say "I want [or I'm going] to do X"....and don't ever get around to doing whatever "X" may be. One example of something I have been saying I would do - but never did - is to write a blog. At the same time, I also appreciate symbolism and find inspiration/meaning all around me. I've been following The Happiness Project blog (www.happiness-project.com) for a few months and just finished reading the book by the same title. This blog/book has been a huge source of inspiration for me to finally make my own blog happen. With a new year having just started, things at working having slowed down, and my mind chock full of thoughts, I figured it was a great time to get motivated and really make it happen!

Since graduating from college two years ago, I've learned a lot about myself and have stumbled upon so many interesting things (both practical and more whimsical) that I have this burning desire to share with the worlddddddd whoever will listen (or should I say read?). When I was trying to come up with a name for this blog, I thought a lot about what defines me and hence what would define my blog. What will I write about? Since this blog isn't anonymous, I really want the reader to get a sense of who I am and what I'm about. Some of the best blogs I read are just people like you and me who feel the urge to express themselves to an audience -- with no real motives. I went with the current blog name because positivity is a major aspect of my personality. For better or worse , I can find a silver lining (i.e., the bright side) in just about any situation. As my Granny always says, "Every disappointment is for a good."

So, what can you expect from this blog? That's a very hard question to answer! Basically, it's going to be the place where I share any and everything that interests me. After all it is my blog. Don't worry though...I find A LOT of stuff interesting and noteworthy (you should see my Google Reader subscription list! subject of a post to come), so there should be something to interest everyone. I'll also be asking for your thoughts/opinions/feedback so don't be shy :-)

Here are topics I expect will be in heavy rotation:
- Health & Wellness (Food, Fitness, Spirituality)
- News & Current events
- Pop Culture: tv, music, movies, gossip, etc.
- Frugality (lol): coupons, deals, free ish!
- Reading, Writing, Books
- Quotes/Inspiration
- Interpersonal Relationships (familial, romantic, and everything in between)

I won't be getting too personal, but I'll definitely be writing about everything from my viewpoint and will share stories/reflections about my life and my experiences. To be honest, I can't tell you exactly how this blog is going to develop, but I hope that you will keep reading to see :-)

To keep motivated, I'm going to challenge myself to post (at least once) everyday for the next 30 days! Tomorrow I'm going to talk more about The Happiness Project as my inspiration for starting this blog. I'm actually going to a book event with the author tonight!

:-D

P.S. Happy MLK Jr. Day and National Day of Service!