thoughts about faith, religion, spirituality

The other night I went to see the movie The Book of Eli. It was pretty good and of course thought-provoking. Without giving anything away, the movie is set sometime in the future (something like 30 or so yrs from now I guess) after maybe a nuclear war or something (the audience was left to fill in a lot of the details lol)...anyway, the planet (or is it just the US?) is basically destroyed and the population that is alive is largely composed of (what we would consider) uncivilized illiterates. There is no law, order, government...essentially no society of which to speak.

Ok it's hard not to give too much away if I want to discuss it meaningfully...so if you haven't seen it and you plan to, just read this after you watch it ;-)

The movie follows Denzel Washington as he travels West on his mission to keep The Book (which we discover is The Bible) protected and deliver it to where it will be safe/appreciated. It's the last Bible left on the planet! The evil dude in the movie wants to use it in an "opiate of the masses" type way, while Denzel simply wants to keep it safe and let it's teachings live on...but by the end of the movie he realizes that by trying so hard to protect it, he hasn't actually been sharing the word with anyone....etc. etc. ...you get the point. There are some interesting parallels with the state of religion today. In particular, at one point a character asks Denzel why all the other Bibles were destroyed, and he responds that some people thought the Bible was the reason for the war in the first place....interesante no?


Another interesting point that my friend brought up is that when Denzel finally reaches his destination, The Bible (which actually ended up being transcribed based on Denzel's memorization of it, since the evil dude gets the real copy of the Bible) is added to a bookshelf along with other works of literature...and placed alongside The Qur'an, The Torah, and the other books of religious teachings. A strong point in such a seemingly insignificant few seconds of the movie.


After the movie, we ended up on the subject of our own faith...mine in particular, b/c I already knew where he stands on the subject. To sum up, I'm at a place right now where I simply don't know what i believe. That may sound crazy, but if you recall I'm a very grey-area kinda gal. It's honestly not a part of my life that I've given much thought recently. I grew up in a Christian household...going to church and Sunday School most weeks. I have a good knowledge of the Bible. In college, I was in the Gospel Choir and went to church almost weekly (by choice obviously). I stopped going to church right around the time I graduated from GTown and haven't gotten back into the practice since.

At this point in my life, I don't consider myself to be religious. Actually, to be honest, I am wary of people who are "religious." I've been so turned of my organized religion that I just don't know what to make of it all. Hypocritical Christians - those who don't quite seem to live up to the lives they "should" (based on teachings) - have sort of ruined Christianity for me. Now, I realize that we "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," so I'm not talking about those Christians who are striving for a good life and realize their failings...I'm talking more about those judgmental, holier-than-thou Christians who believe they are better than the next person, simply because they believe in God and attend church service on a regular basis.

I think what it boils down to is that I don't feel sufficiently convinced that Christianity is the "right" or "only" way to incorporate faith and spirituality into one's life. I also think spirituality is something deeply personal that should be the result of reflection and education, rather than one's upbringing. In other words, I don't want to be a Christian simply because my parents are. When I feel ready/inspired, I want to familiarize myself with the different faiths/religious teachings of the world. Should I be a Christian simply because I am and English-speaking American? I say no. I should be "fill-in-the-blank" because of a conscious decision on my part, not by default.

Having said all this, I don't yet feel that inspiration to figure all this out. It's interesting that I saw this movie recently and am writing this post because a friend of my sister just wrote a post on her site related to the subject. After reading The Happiness Project (due to Nix's recommendation), she is left wondering whether Gretchen Rubin is missing something --> a spiritual component to her quest. (Aside - It's funny how people can read the same thing and have different take-aways...I think this is why joining a book-club would be super interesting! Maybe I'll work on that...) Anywho, this got me thinking even more. Plus, a few weeks ago, a friend of mine saw a similar gap in the discussion of happiness, and suggested I read the book Have a Little Faith, by Mitch Albom. I read his book The Five People You Meet in Heaven and really liked it, so I definitely will check it out. Maybe even this weekend...seems like there are a lot of "signs" nudging me to explore the issue. (Btw, I'm always looking for book recommendations, so let me know if you have any - on this or any subject.) Thoughts??

On a random not-exactly--related note, check out this blog post on Freakonomics about parents who "fake" Christianity for the sake of their kids.

For today's *big chune* I'm going with the theme again. Up until I lost my ipod I still had some Gospel songs on it, because I think the music is beautiful and I appreciate the message. There are some amazing gospel songs that do give me a goose-bump feeling. (btw, it's really hard for me to pick these, because it's like I'm picking a favorite song, which I am terrible at.) Today's song is from the Kurt Carr Singers, called For Every Mountain...I wish I knew the woman's name cuz she kills this song!!


:-)
  

be anna...and let them be them

Blog Challenge: Day 12

Last night I went to an event that had my internal dialogue running in overdrive. So much so that as soon as I got into my building out of the blistering, frigid, unbearable, makes-me-wish-i-never-left-my-island cold, I stopped (in the hallway) to type out some thoughts on my palm pre. lol! The event was a presentation/discussion on emotional intelligence (EQ), presented by Christie Lewis of Mission Matters Consulting and Coaching Group. The event was offered through a DC organization geared toward young nonprofit professionals, but i was attracted to it because of my interest in Psychology.
 

In a nutshell, EQ is a self-perceived ability, to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. We went through a few little exercises that got us to think about and assess our EQ strengths and weaknesses. Obviously this stuff is important to me, as I hope one day to be a counselor/therapist. But, it's also applicable to anyone. A lot of the discussion was actually from a workplace perspective. She mentioned that EQ is what sets great leaders (like CEOs) apart from those who don't make it to the top. It makes sense if you think about it. After all, it's not what you know, but who you know...or perhaps how you know who you know. marinate on that! lol.

In terms of my own EQ, something I've struggled with recently - but especially since reading The Happiness Project (now #1 on NYT Bestseller list!!) - is that I place so much emphasis on happiness and positivity in my own life and I can't understand why other people don’t. It's like I have an emotional "can.not.process" (say that in a robot/computer voice for the full effect) response. I struggle because though I am immensely positive I shut down in the face of negativity. It's like my positive forcefield is no match for gloom/anger/sullenness. I feed off of the situation and people around me. But rather than get negative (like them) I just detach from the situation. I stop caring. I essentially go into emotional hibernation.

This got me thinking a lot about Gretchen’s first personal commandment: "Be Gretchen" Here is the gist of the concept (in her words): "Just as I must 'Be Gretchen' and accept myself, strengths and weaknesses both, I must also accept everyone around me...The fact is, we can change no one but ourselves."

With that in mind, I've had to make an important tweak. My first personal commandment is to Be Anna...and let them be them. In other words, i have to do what makes me happy and live a life that is true to my values/principles/likes/dislikes. But i also have to accept the people around me for who they are. After all, who am i to say what the right or best way of living is? Having someone like Nix as a sis is like living in an alternate universe. An awesome universe, but one quite different from most lol. It's sort of like living with another "me". We think so similarly about so many things that I forget we are not your average bear and that she is not necessarily like everyone I interact with. Take a colleague, for example. They are one of the most negative debby-downer people I know. But, I've come to accept and expect that from them. I don't take it personally. That is what gets them through their day. 

As I think more and more about the possibility that I may be going to grad school for Psychology i'm petrified by the judgments and expectations that I place on myself--largely as a result of what I think other people's judgments and expectations are/will be. Does that make sense? I imagine that people think, "she should be able to make me feel better because that is what she wants to do as a career. Why doesn't she get it?" This is an unfair (and possible unfounded) expectation I am placing on myself. Aside from the fact that I have zero knowledge or expertise, not everyone wants advice. I need to repeat that to myself: not everyone wants my advice! I'm not a know-it-all, but it's my nature to try to help people...and making "suggestions" is one of the ways I do this. "Maybe you could..." I have these urges to give my thoughts. I don't really see it as advice more like tips or suggestions but it dawned on me that it may come across as advice which can be, quite frankly, annoying when it is done in a certain way.

People who want advice will ask for it. Until then, I need to slow my role.

But....[now I'm going to totally confuse myself (and yall) by posing this question]...if I truly believe in the principles of happiness and positivity and the beneficial effects on my life, can you blame me for wanting to share? How do you know when you should be trying to spread a good message, or when you need to leave it up to others to find it for themselves?

Thoughts on all this?

P.S. I got invited to interview at another one of the schools I applied to! Now I've been invited to 2/6...still waiting to hear back from the other 4. 

TGIF!  :-D

go ahead, make my day!

Blog Challenge Day 10

Earlier this week, I came across a cute little website listed at the bottom of one of The Happiness Project blog posts >> http://itmademyday.com/

This site allows people to submit little moments/stories of things that....made their day! Here are some examples that are my favs so far:

Today, in music class, the teacher put the wrong CD in to the CD player. The result was, instead of Tchaikovsky, Lady Gaga. IMMD
Submitted by: hy

Today I ran into a sliding glass door while working, leaving big forehead print on the glass…When I came back later, I saw someone had drawn a smiley face on the glass where the print was. IMMD
Submitted by: Paul

I was working at a daycare and today the kids I take care of were building a model city. One kid made a petting zoo and placed a Lion in the center. IMMD.
Submitted by: Gregg

The idea of this site is so awesome! It helps that the acronym is so catchy...now I find myself using it. For example, Nix and roomieand I have a little weekend morning tradition of making pancakes for breakfast. The past two weekends we haven't been able to do it because Nix is working like a Jamaican weekend mornings. This morning I gchatted her to tell her that I miss our pancake breakfasts. She reminded me that she doesn't have to work until 11 this Saturday, so we can do pancakes...IMMD! Then she suggested that we send each other our "day-making" moments every day...IMMD all over again.  Nix is good for doing that :-)


A lot of us tend to be on auto-pilot, especially when we're busy/stressed. This seems like a great way to be more mindful. Small moments that seem insignificant can be a source of joy and happiness if you let them. I have two challenges for you:

1) Spend today taking notice of the small things.
2) Tell a friend about the idea of IMMD and encourage each other to share those moments.

So...what made your day today?! You can say that this post did...don't be shy ;-)

is this a happiness project?

30-day Challenge: Day 2

As I wrote in my previous post, this blog was inspired by (among other things) my reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, whose blog I have been following for the past few months. I strongly suggest checking out her blog (http://happiness-project.com/) and her book. Plus-talk about good timing-there is an interview with her in today's Express: http://www.expressnightout.com/content/2010/01/gretchen-rubin-the-happiness-project.php. Nix (sister) and I went to her book event last night and she decided to buy her own copy AND started reading when we got home. That's quite an endorsement!


Gretchen (hey, she emailed me personally--even with 35,000 readers!--so I feel like we're on a first-name basis) started her happiness project after an "epiphany" made her question how her life was going and how she wanted to be: "I asked myself, “What do I want from life, anyway?” and I thought, “I want to be happy”—but I never spent any time thinking about happiness. “I should do a happiness project!” I realized. And so I have."

Gretchen spent a year focusing on 12 areas (one per month) and tracking her progress in each. Here are her 12 personal commandments:

• Be Gretchen.
• Let it go.
• Act the way I want to feel.
• Do it now.
• Be polite and be fair.
• Enjoy the process.
• Spend out.
• Identify the problem.
• Lighten up.
• Do what ought to be done.
• No calculation.
• There is only love.

Most people who know me would probably doubt that I need to work to work on my happiness. I'm definitely not lacking in that department. But, I think we could all benefit from some of the ideas she shares. Plus, the happier I am, the happier I hope to make the people around me. So, while my blog isn't focused on happiness in and of itself, it is an outgrowth of me thinking about happiness and how I can add more of it to my life...which was an outgrowth of me following some of her happiness principles/concepts! lol.

One of the things I'm going to be working on is my own list of personal commandments, which I'll post as I come up with them. You can see other people's personal commandments here at Gretchen's Happiness Project Toolkit site: http://happinessprojecttoolbox.com/personal_commandments.html. This is also great resource if you want to start your own happiness project!

The way I see it, increasing your happiness is about figuring out the things that make you happy, and the things that make you unhappy, and adjusting accordingly. As I was reading the book, I stopped to think about what makes me happy. Surprisingly, it was actually sort of difficult :-/ It sounds like such a simple question, but I hadn't really thought about it before. Now that I have thought about it, here are a few things that make me truly happy:
- reading
- eating well (veggies, fruits, whole (REAL) foods, etc.)
- spending time with my sisters
- being home (in st. thomas)
- listening to music
- playing and watching (preferably live) sports
- waking up early
- going to sleep at a decent hour so I can wake up early
- discovering new (to me) things: music, food, music, places, people, etc.

I do most of this stuff quite often so it's not surprising that I'm quite happy!

Soooooo readers, have you heard of this book? What do you think of the idea of a Happiness Project? Would you consider yourself happy? What does your list of "happiness-inducers" look like? Do you do/get enough of the things that make you happy? Other thoughts?

:-)